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Feliz Víspera de Todos Los Santos, a.k.a. HAPPY HALLOWEEN


It is time for new costumes at the Walgreen household; we have been living with the Disney costumes for far too long.  There appears to be an interest in vampires and outer space aliens, my young children are convinced they need to belong to another world not the dictatorship known as mom’s house.  Low and behold what do I find on line, but the illegal and sexy illegal alien costumes manufactured by Forum Novelties.  They have been referred to as “fantastic”, “dehumanizing” or a “value freedom symbol” depending on whom you ask – that’s quit impressive for a $39.99 piece of garb.  I myself heard about these costumes during the “FOX & Friends” morning show where Steve, Brian and the over glossed Gretchen deemed them “fantastic”.  Which make sense if you ever noticed the Fredrick’s of Hollywood outfits most of the Fox female anchors wear and not just for Halloween.   

Wait a minute, mamita before you stop reading in protest. Yes, I do watch FOX, and yes I know Nuestro Salvador (also known to the rest of the world as President Obama) has banished them but you taught me to keep an open mind and that is exactly what you need when you tune in.  What is curious is that I had to find out about another negative Hispanic stereotype from FOX and not from my fellow Hispanic’s.  Where is the outrage, the protests, the boycotts?  ¿POR QUE?  Is it because we know most of us aren’t illegal, wear silver ponchos, needing handcuffs or have green tinged faces?  Well, unless we are at the latter end of a Cantina Crawl.

Some immigrant rights groups made mild statements of protest where the word “dehumanizing” was the strongest adjective used.  They know to save all their ammo for the immigration reform debate.  Oh wait, that is what’s really alien and foreign, a discussion on the critical issues around immigration reform. The silence from the White House is more offensive than the costumes and they are probably relieved when anything diverts attention from their LACK OF ATTENTION to the issue.     
I did read that William Gheen of ALI-PAC, a rabid anti-immigration group, called on its supporters to buy the costumes as a “value freedom symbol”.  I value freedom but not at $59.99 (price for the more expensive version), I’m on a budget.  Does it count if I buy the penis candles with the American flag on them that Forum Novelties also manufactures?

What struck me and maybe William (people like this are never known as Bill or Billy) should make a note of it, is how unrealistic the costumes are to the real deal.  However, I thought I better be sure since the children enjoy elements of authenticity in their costumes.  I called out to Chris P. our gardener to see if I saw a green face, bulging eyes or if he had started wearing an orange jumpsuit – I’m not sure Chris is illegal but isn’t everyone who works in the yard???  I did see an overtired face, a stooped and weathered life mask from years of back breaking work and a jaundiced pallor from lack of appropriate nutrition.  No green face here!  Now on to our housekeeper Anna (another purported paradigm of illegality) – maybe she had slipped on the short sexy alien skirt to wash our toilets and I hadn’t noticed.  The bulging eyes on the alien mask would be a marked improvement to the down trodden, tired, blood shot eyes she always wears to her three jobs and for her children.  I have never seen her wear a sombrero with fringe on it, not very practical I suppose, when you are waiting for the bus in sub-zero weather.     

Now to the real decision makers on any costume purchase, my children.  No screams of FANTASTICO, no pleas for these freedom symbols.  They weren’t scary or real or alien enough I was told.  “Mom”, my bright-eyed offspring stated, “What space alien would wear a jump suit with handcuffs?”  “Why do they need a sombrero, if they are going to outer space, not to Mexico?” they bellowed.  “This isn’t a good costume, if it’s not real enough!”  Maybe my kiddies had figured out what Gheen and most pundits hadn’t, you can’t make a good “illegal alien” costume if you don’t really know what they look like since they are invisible to most of you, unless you’re looking for a scapegoat.  BOO~! 


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