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Melania Trump Celebrated in Slovenia for Making History as First Third Wife and First-Ever Nudie in White House

Melania Mad-Ness!

Who knew that having a career evolution from (bikini to occasionally nude) model to arm candy to bagging a bloated, orange-tinged billionaire could make you a hometown hero in Slovenia but it can. The former Melania Knauss of Sevnica, Slovenia is being celebrated in the country of 2 million and revered in her hometown of 5,000.

The president and prime minister of the country sent a congratulatory letter to Melania upon hearing of her elevation to First Lady-In-Waiting. Since we could not locate a Slovenian translator we are not sure if the letter was also congratulating her for having gracefully tolerated her husband’s verbal diarrhea or for avoiding gold poisoning in the gilded cage she trapped lives in or for becoming the First Lady to have posed nude.

Slovenia’s leaders including the Mayor of Sevnica feel assured that Melania will put that stellar and yet-to-be identified college degree to good use by “raising visibility of our central-European country” and making Sevnica a “tourist destination.” No one can blame this small central European country for its Melania-madness since it’s only been around since 1991 and thus far its largest export are mundane car parts and autos like the never-hear-of K-1 Attack Roadster.

President Borut Pahor and Prime Minister Dr. Miro Cerar were undoubtedly proud when the native daughter took to the stage at the Republican Convention and without losing a false eyelash uttered the current First Lady’s words effortlessly almost like they were her own. And how poised the President-Elect’s third wife defended the pussy grabber’s pussy grabbing comments. Melania must be given credit for honoring her home country by keeping her heavy Slavic accent but not the Slavic face she was born with.

Two-thirds of the Slovenian people are employed in the service sector and Melania is continuing in that proud tradition with her 11-year job marriage and commitment to servicing her husband. Having admitting unlike any other modern day First Lady sex with the orange one is “.. a great, great time,” boasting on the Howard Stern radio show that she and Donald copulate “even more” than daily.

Her aspirations as First Lady to drive Barron to school herself will surely serve as an inspiration to all the young girls of Slovenia. Carry on home town hero the world is your oyster!

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HSN Staff Writers

HSN staff writers are a group of enthusiastic and talented creative-types that generate great story lines and write about current events with a distinctively Latino voice always respecting the audience it writes for.

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