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Trumpians Herald Mexican Made ‘Trump’ Toilet Paper


Who knew that a clever Mexican lawyer could craft the ultimate gift for Trumpians and the President’s league of low information voters? No we aren’t talking about brains – it is Trump Toilet paper.

The made-in-Mexico product was the brain child of corporate attorney Antonio Battaglia that is being marketed with the not-so-subtle slogans: “Softness without borders” and “This is the wall, that, yes, we will pay for.” The double ply “papel higienico Trump” will arrive in Mexican stores later this year though only in limited production unless there is a surge in demand.

Battaglia wanted to come up with a ticky-tack product to slap Trump’s image on, a product that would reflect his rage at the president’s “insulting comments about Mexicans.” Basically to show disrespect for Trump’s disrespect. The challenge was finding something the Trump Organization hadn’t already received a trademark for in Mexico. As everyone knows Trump likes to put his name on everything – we assume even his genitals if allowed.

Battaglia first tried getting a patent for Trump shoes but was unsuccessful. The problem was Mexico’s Institute of Industrial Property had recently granted the Trump Organization trademarks on the Trump name for a multitude of things for a wide range of businesses. Somehow the wiz-bangs at the organization - now headed by Trump’s shamelessly unaccomplished-live-off-of-dad-so- I-don’t-have-to-get-a-real-job son’s – somehow overlooked to trademark the Orange one’s name and image on Mexican toilet paper. This omission is shocking considering the president is alleged to suffer from chronic verbal diarrhea and gaseous rhetoric.

In 2015 Battaglia received his Trump toilet paper patent and has been encouraging Mexicans ever since to take a swipe while they wipe!

Battaglia is also encouraging tourists to go south of the border to not only have fun-in-the-sun but also buy Trump toilet paper. He has committed 30 percent of profits to support migrants that Trump deports to Mexico.

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HSN staff writers are a group of enthusiastic and talented creative-types that generate great story lines and write about current events with a distinctively Latino voice always respecting the audience it writes for.

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