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Latino Daily News

Tuesday January 25, 2011

Holy Mistaken Ethnicities, Batman!

Holy Mistaken Ethnicities, Batman!

Photo: Latino Bat-Foe Bane will be Played by British Actor Tom Hardy

Click Here to Enlarge Photo

In these times of WikiLeaks and bats dying en masse, news from the bat-cave has been leaked to the world, about the two new bat-villains plaguing Gotham City, and we are not particularly pleased with some of this news.

Christopher Nolan’s take on the super hero with no super powers has so far taken the breath away of millions of people around the world. It’s last installment, “The Dark Knight”  was made for under $200m, and made $400m on its first three days.

“Let’s put a smile on that face” became instantly the new “Hello, Clarice.” “Wanna see a magic trick?” became more memorable than Sam Jackson’s “English, Mother****. Do you speak it?” Whoever plays any future bat-villain has immense shoes to fill after the Oscar winning super performance of the late Heath Ledger as the Joker.

Maybe that’s why the next movie will have two, come to think of it.

Cat-woman, once before played by Michelle Pfeiffer will make a comeback in the next film. Remember that scene in “Batman Returns” where she backflips one, two three times towards the camera, and after the last one takes a breath and says, “Meow” queuing in a bomb blast? 

Ok, take Michelle Pfeiffer out of the cat-suit, and put Anne Hathaway in it. Does it work? let us know your opinions.

And as for the other baddie, you might not have heard of this foe, so here’s a bit of info straight from Wikipedia:

“Bane was born in the fictional Caribbean Republic of Santa Prisca, in a prison called Peña Duro (“Hard Rock”).”

So the man is basically a Latino born in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba… Right?

“His father had been a revolutionary and had escaped Santa Prisca’s court system. The corrupt government however decreed that his young son would serve out the man’s life sentence, and thus Bane’s childhood and early adult life are spent in the amoral penitentiary environment.”

That sounds more like something that would happen in 80’s Nicaragua, but heck, still Latino… right?

“During his years in prison, Bane carries a teddy bear he calls Osito (Spanish for “little bear”), whom he considers his only friend. It is revealed that Osito has a hole in his back to hold a knife that Bane uses against anyone who bullies him.”

Alright, so it is confirmed. The man speaks Spanish, and like the stereotypical token psychotic Latino men, hides his weapon (not a fire weapon, a “chuzo”) inside his “comfort blanket.”  Mexican “Machete” star Danny Trejo, and Spanish Héctor Eliozondo have both voiced bane in the animated series, and even Joel Schumacher, who hacked the character to pieces for “Batman and Robin,” kept his heritage and called “Antonio Diego” the prisioner that would become Bane.  Do you get the trend here Latino, Latino, Latino.

Now comes “The Dark Knight Rises,” and the “Luchador”  mask and uniform wearing Bane, will be portrayed by none other than-the non-Latino British actor Tom Hardy.

What have you done, Chris Nolan?

“The Dark Knight Rises” will be the last Batman that Nolan will helm, he has stated this on numerous occasions. So these weird bat-foe choices come as a even weirder way to close the cycle, a daring gamble for a production that can’t redeem itself in a sequel.

As for Latinos, we were all ready to see Javier Bardem as Bane, with the authentic acento.