Queendom.com, a pioneer in online personality, IQ, and career tests, has released its newest study on gender roles in courtship behavior. Pulling up on a white horse this Valentine’s Day isn’t necessary, but at least some chivalry is a heart-melting must.
Some men hurtled, on horseback, with a giant stick in their hands. Emperor Shah Jahan built The Taj Mahal as a final resting place for his most beloved wife. Both Cleopatra and Juliet refused to live in a world where they couldn’t be with the one they loved. Thankfully, courtship conventions and romantic gestures need not be this extreme. According to Queendom’s data, most men and women take a modern approach to dating, but a little chivalry can still go a long way.
Collecting data from 950 men and 1621 women, Queendom’s research on gender roles and courtship reveals that:
· 77% of men and 70% of women feel that a date can be initiated by either gender. In fact, 65% of the women have either asked a man out on a date, or would be willing to do so.
· 67% of men and 60% of women believe that chivalry is important (e.g. opening doors, pulling out chair, etc.).
· 60% of women still like to be wined and dined, at least in the initial stages of dating.
· 26% of men want to be the one who controls how the relationship plays out (i.e. how many dates they should have, how fast the relationship moves, when to meet each other’s family). 39% of men would prefer to let the woman control the direction of the relationship, 35% prefer it to be a mutual decision. For women, 27% want to be in full control, 31% prefer to let men decide; 43% prefer it to be mutual.
· When it comes to popping the question, 66% of men and 65% of women think it’s fine for the woman to do the asking.
In terms of who pays for the first date (a long-standing debate), 47% of men feel that the man should pay; 24% feel that the bill should be split; 29% stated that whoever initiated the date should pay. On the women’s side, 31% feel the man should pay, another 31% feel that the bill should be split, and 38% indicated that whoever initiated the date should pay. And that old “play-hard-to-get” theory? Still just a theory. Only 19% of men and 28% of women believe that a woman should be mysterious and play hard to get for the first few dates.
“Women no longer need to play the more submissive, demure role – and it’s nice to see that both genders support this progress,” states Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “This doesn’t mean that men are off the hook and don’t need to put an effort into romance anymore. The modern woman still likes romance, but it’s now a shared endeavor, with both genders putting an effort into the relationship. What fascinated us most about this study was that younger men and women had somewhat more traditional courtship views than older age groups.”
Queendom’s age comparisons reveal several interesting differences:
· 28% of men under 30 and 22% of men over 30 feel that the man should plan most of the dates.
· 60% of men under 30 and 76% of men over 30 feel that a woman should be able to propose to a man.
· 20% of men under 30 and 13% of men over 30 said that they would feel threatened by a woman who took control of what they did on the first date.
· 26% of men under 30 and 14% of men over 30 believe that it should be the man who asks the woman out, not vice versa.
· 51% of men under 30 and 39% of men over 30 believe stated that the man should pay for the first date.
· 66% of women under 30 and 71% of women over 30 have either asked a man out or would consider doing it.
· 64% of women under 30 and 72% of women over 30 think it’s ok to be the one to ask a man to marry them.
Here are some Valentine’s tips with a twist from Queendom:
· Forget the dozen roses. Buy one, wrapped with a ribbon.
· Show up at your partner’s workplace and whisk him or her away for lunch.
· Place a love note in your partner’s lunch bag or on the bathroom mirror.
· Grab a blanket, a bottle of wine, and drive out to a place where you can see the stars.
· Slow dance in your living room.
· Avoid embarrassing lingerie no-nos. Take him to a lingerie store and show him all the naughty things you like.
· Meet at a local hang-out and pretend you’re two strangers flirting with each other.
· Build a little bonfire in your backyard and make chocolate Smores.
· Get tango or salsa lessons together.