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Racy JC: White Guy Seeking Latinas and Why “The Fever” Not Just for Chicks
Photo: Latin Women can be real "Hot Tamales," but be on your best behavior or you may get burned.
Dear Racy JC,
I am reading your book now and it’s really great—feels very honest and accurate, and it’s funny too. But I am “reading into it” to try to understand things from the guy’s perspective. I’m a white guy who wants to date Latinas. Have you written anything specifically to help the guys?
Dear Man Who Reads,
The book’s first draft was a little more unisex, but my editors said I had to write either for men or for women. I was at the same time informed that 80% of all books are bought and read by women (and that women buy about 99.9% of relationship books). That, coupled with my nudie multicultural cover boy toys, led me to write from a broad’s point of view. (Kudos to you, by the way, for having the balls to buy it. You are obviously secure in your manhood.)
That said, I think men can learn much (or more) about women by reading it. It really talks about what is important to women both in general and within each culture. Guys of the five cultures discussed in the book can get a really good idea of what women think of them and guysoutside those cultures can get a good idea of what women in each of those cultures want from a man.
All of the cultural stuff in the book applies to both men and women: “Things to Know,” “So You Don’t Fuck Up!,” “What the Hell Did I Get Myself Into? This includes Latin culture norms like: no swearing, use Mr. and Mrs. around family, and expect people to be affectionate and for it to be okay for you to show affection. “What’s Hot?” and “What’s Not?” just give you a sense of what women liked and didn’t like about men in each culture. You don’t have to read between the lines too much. Do the stuff they liked. Don’t do the stuff they didn’t like.
As far as your Latina quest, here are a few tips: Cheating is the biggest hot button for Latin women. Lots of Latinas I interviewed said they date men of other cultures, like Jews and Indians, because they are more likely to be faithful. If you learn anything about Latin women, know that they don’t tolerate cheating. They also can be jealous because of the long history of cheating men in the Latin community. Prepare yourself—the jealousy can be a bit over the top. (See short story in “Salsa Fever” called “Speaking Japlishguese.”) Latin women have high expectations in the sack, so you better represent there. However, they are willing to work with you—especially if they think you are the loyal kind. Also, Latin women expect old-fashioned manners: Men pick up the check (always). Don’t be macho. (They hate that.) Don’t be wimpy, either. They are looking for a man’s man. And dance lessons are a must! Dancing is a huge part of most Latin cultures. Argentina is famous for the Tango; Puerto Ricans have Salsa; and Mexicans do this weird freeform dance to polka-type accordion music. Latinas are not going to stand for that infamous white-guy-side-to-side dance, so you better learn to really dance. I think if you learn Salsa and Merengue (and any idiot can Merengue, trust me), then you will do okay. And you might even meet someone in Salsa class. Who knows?
Thanks for buying (and actually reading) the book! And thanks also for highlighting how men can get a lot out of intercultural dating and from I Got the Fever! Please keep me posted.