If you are too enthralled with the debt debate circus and don’t have time or haven’t figured out how best to keep your privates clean during this repressive heat wave - Summer Eve’s has launched an aggressive advertising campaign to tell you.
Calling it their Hail to the ‘V’ there are print ads featuring Cleopatra and Helen of Troy (who knew the cleaning of my lady purse merited such lofty iconic symbols) and numerous video ads. The video ads are for wipes and feature a vaginal hand puppet – are you freaked out already?
And luckily for us Latinas, they even prepared a special ad just for our cucu’s (the word commonly used around Mexican-American households for vag’s).
Hey if Chelsea Handler can call it a ‘peekachu’ and Snooki a ‘cuca’ we can have our own identifier remember not all of us have assimilated. And for the very acculturated Latinas struggling with their pronunciations, it is known as va-Gina. And Summer’s Eve corporate brains wanted to make sure they got every single peekachu marketed to with its new campaign.
There’s an ad for African-American women called “Lady Wowza” and ads for white females called “BFF”They did forget Indians, Asians, Persians, Croatians, etc…. and most of all men (remember according to the Tea Party white males are already feeling very overlooked and now this hygiene slight). Give them time, if the next census shows Persians are the fastest growing minority you can rest assure you will be seeing your own vaginal puppet soon.
What is frightening is that companies spend a lot of money trying to figure out how to most effectively reach the Hispanic consumer, which basically is no different than anyone else. Shockingly our privates all work the same way though some work better than others, if you know what I mean.
The Latina ad basically implies our privates live in leopard thongs and get f***ked up by sitting on airplanes. Why on planes? Latinas drive more then fly? Where do these people get this stuff from??? The ad also implies that when a Latina gets all worked up especially about her “cucu” she reverts to Spanish or a bad barrio accent. Of course the reference to “perform[ing] miracles” is not lost on me and the calculated outreach to the millions of U.S. Hispanic Catholics. But Jesus, isn’t it sacrilegious to promote clean vag’s and connecting it to performing a “miracle”. It’s nothing a good soapy towel can’t take care of, so no need to call in our Lord Jesus Christ.