I was a fat kid. I mean, fat. I was so fat; I would start to sweat if I stood still long enough. I would like to blame it on the scourge of places like Burger King or Kentucky Fried Chicken, but my parents rarely relied on fast food as a means for a nutritional strategy. In fact, I was almost a teenager when I first went to Burger King. However, my mom fried everything in lard. Her arms were scarred from burns she had suffered battling breakfast. My mother used lard like some people use cinnamon. I suspect that she would put tapioca pudding on lard and simply called it flan.